Sometimes I just feel like I’m losing control of myself. After the numerous times I tried to resist, I find myself overwhelmed by complete darkness.
I feel no emotions. Everything around me are falling apart by I don’t seem to care. Although I am already hurt, I am willing to hurt myself even more because I am used to it and I deserve it. No, I don’t mean self-harm.
I could no longer feel love or hate. I could never achieve the things I want to achieve. I could no longer trust myself anymore. I could never be myself again. I am close to being dead, emotionally dead.
Mistakes were made, faults were blamed on me, everything is in chaos, failed to salvage things I cherish. I guess I am just useless. What am I in this world?