Suffering in silence.

Sometimes I just feel like I’m losing control of myself. After the numerous times I tried to resist, I find myself overwhelmed by complete darkness.

I feel no emotions. Everything around me are falling apart by I don’t seem to care. Although I am already hurt, I am willing to hurt myself even more because I am used to it and I deserve it. No, I don’t mean self-harm. 

I could no longer feel love or hate. I could never achieve the things I want to achieve. I could no longer trust myself anymore. I could never be myself again. I am close to being dead, emotionally dead.

Mistakes were made, faults were blamed on me, everything is in chaos, failed to salvage things I cherish. I guess I am just useless. What am I in this world? 

I’m insignificant.

– Eric


2+2=4, 1+3=4.

Life is such a mystery. No one really knows how life really began. Maybe we’re sub-consciously living in our own dreams. Who knows? We just live life as it is. Some live to die, some live to enjoy, some live to help others and some live to kill their kind. Life sure is an interesting topic to discuss about, but this post is not really discussing about it.

Goals. We were told (by almost everyone) to set goals in life. Doing so, it allows us to feel a sense of achievement and go on to do even greater stuff beyond our limits. It gives us an adrenaline rush and huge determination to accomplish even more for our own satisfaction. Goals, in my perspective, are what really drives us forward in life.

However, there will definitely be some setbacks and unforseen circumstances whereby we will just wonder about whether our goals are possible or not. Sometimes we stick to our own methods to achieving this specific goal. Despite failing many times, have we ever thought of changing our perspectives? We might think that our methods/perspectives are the most ideal at certain scenarios… But in doing so we have limit ourselves to see things in the bigger picture.

In life, there are many ways to achieve the same thing, not only one. We have to broaden our perspectives and think realistically. We may overestimate our own abilities and underestimating the scenario. Having thoughts like that will most likely cause you to fail every single time. Be humble and think logically. If you add 2+2=4, so does 1+3. Don’t be afraid to change the way you see things. It really helps most of the time. This way you can achieve way much more than before. 

I tried it. I experienced first-hand. I accomplished things I didn’t expect myself to accomplish. Just try it.

– Eric