Boring me, boring life

Have been thinking lately about the things that I wanna achieve, yet it seems kind of impossible. The results came back and I’d already knew I would screw up big time. The incomplete papers that I’ve produced in exams had resulted me in getting a GPA of 3.2. It sucks because to recover from that grade, I’ll have to work extra hard to pull the grade up. Seems like going into a university might not be possible for me :/

Having said that, everyday is a boring day. It’s different… in the sense that it’s a new day of the month and all but… the days are repeating itself. 

Same morning routine, fixed body clock, wondering in my mind, staring into my laptop looking at soccer cleats and stuff. Sometimes working once or twice in a week. It’s just boring. You might say that I am a lazy ass and I should go and look for something to do. The thing is – No matter how hard I try and succeed, it will eventually go back to square one… which is the situation right now.

Can’t be arsed to even give shit about people when I can’t handle the shit that has been created around me. I will forever remember this phrase Brian always tell me, “Eric, get your shit together.” 

Well, I’m still trying.

Currently having this thought of being a bachelor, inspired by my teacher. Seeing him enjoying his life outside teaching really just makes me think that I can really be genuinely happy. Having a relationship without knowing the true intentions and trust from your partner can really create havoc in your life. Bittersweet memories aye. 

If I could rewind time, I would go back to 16 February 1999, 2050hrs – in Jakarta, Indonesia; Back to the day I was born, where I know no stress, and no backstabbers and people with ugly hearts. Too bad it’s not gonna happen anytime sooner. Sad.

– Eric

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